The last time I was on an online dating site, I came across a guy who was funny, witty, literate and interesting. It was refreshing and rare.
After several email notes back and forth about his career as a criminal defense attorney, which I took to mean he likely is a liberal, he disclosed to me he just beat cancer. It was serious cancer — liver and esophagus — and his future looked bleak. But he had these great doctors who got rid of all the cancer. He was cured.
I was stunned with this personal disclosure as here I am with my own cancer — very different than his but still scary. I weighed if I should provide such private info on an online dating site. But, hey I thought, he did. We had cancer in common.
So I told him. I didn’t provide details just a quick overview, thinking, that if nothing else, we had a connection with this illness. He sent me back an email giving me everyone of his doctors’ names and the hospital and the treatment and how I should call one particular doctor who saved his life.
Here’s the kicker: After my disclosure, he sharply said we should be friends, just friends. And then he disappeared. WTF! So apparently this dude who appeared to have it together ended up being a jerk. It was OK for him to disclose his illness, but when I did — just a little bit — he wigged out.
I learned from that one that being honest online does not pay off or I learned that being honest brings out the real character of another person. It was a miserable experience, but one that us widows, or divorcees, have to be ready for if we want to have a run in the dating world.