The nightmare than can be Sunday

What is it with Sundays — that particular day is worse for a widow than any other.

I didn’t like Sundays growing up because I was forced to go to church, and I was often bored with little or nothing to do on that day. I disliked Sundays in my 20s before I got married because I lived alone and was either saying goodbye to friends after spending the weekend with them or saying goodbye to my boyfriend who I had a long-distance relationship with for four years. This boyfriend, who became my husband, called this empty feeling “the Sunday night blues.” We both would experience it after getting back to our respective apartments in far-flung cities knowing we wouldn’t see each other for a few weeks.

The Sunday blues had a long hiatus once we got married and after we had kids. Sundays became busy and revolved around family activities and dinners and seeing friends. I often saw my mom or my in laws that day.

Since my husband died, my mother died, my in-laws live out of state, my son is launched and my daughter is away at school, I live alone again and the feeling is back — with a vengeance. I rarely go to church now because it tends to make me cry. I try to plan things on Sunday, but often feel blue regardless of what I’m doing. Sundays conjure up thoughts of better days gone, having a mate, feeling needed, being loved. Sundays accentuate the alone feeling.

There is little I can do about this now – it is part of my new reality like so many other things.  Perhaps if I wasn’t so self-centered, the feeling would ease.

I’m open to suggestions.

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About Marti Benedetti

I'm a longtime writer and a widow. I want to share my thoughts and experiences of being single in my 50s and beyond after being married to the same man and raising kids for 28 years. It's not the journey I signed up for, but the one I'm living with. I hope I can offer up some thoughts, chuckles and comfort for those in a similar boat.
This entry was posted in grief, living alone, new widow, single middle-age woman, widowhood and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The nightmare than can be Sunday

  1. dswidow says:

    I do a lot of movies on Sundays, usually the mid-afternoon matinees. It’s a nice time to see a movie (not too crowded, not too empty) and it does a good job of filling that empty time.

    • Hi DSWidow:

      My blog is not coming up in searches for widowhood. Can you give me some tips on making it more searchable? Search engine optimization seems a bit challenging. Any tips on pagination?

      Thanks

      • dswidow says:

        Gosh, I’m not really sure. I’ve followed a few of the suggestions given in the wordpress forums – checking the slugs and editing them to make sure that the key words are more prevalent and tagging (though that one always is a challenge for me). One thing I noticed is that you don’t have a list of your favorite blogs listed on your blog page. I have found there’s a bit of give and take amongst bloggers. Many of my links and followers have come from people following a link to my blog from another blogger’s page. Hope these suggestions help.

  2. Thanks. I’ll try your suggestions.

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